gram b

this is gram b.
she has about 20 other names... helen, constance, connie, grandma barnes, etc. sometimes i forget which one is the real deal.

a few weeks ago, gram b got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. saying it is scary is an understatement. pancreatic cancer is when a tumor grows in the pancreas (go figure), and in most cases by the time the tumor is found it is already huge. the person doesnt know its there until its bad. she is already in stage 4 of cancer... not a good sign. but let me tell you something- this woman is more cheerful than anyone i know!

this past week before i came home from college, my family made a detour to idaho falls to visit gram b. i'll admit i was a little scared to see her... but the trip was great. i feel like i got to know her so much better in the past few days. my respect for her has skyrocketed.
one day, while my mom and dad were running errands, tanner and i took the video camera and sat down on the couch with gram b to interview her. it was amazing. i cant even think of the right words to describe. it was fun and interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the whole time! we asked such a huge range of questions. from "whats your favorite color" to "how did you meet grandpa" to "did you go to prom in high school"
awesome experience.
by the end, all three of us were bawling (me tanner and gram). she is so cool. we asked her what she thought when she found out she had cancer... and she straight up bore her testimony to tanner and me and said that she had been so blessed in her life so far, and if this is what God wanted her to go through next then she would. she has the best attitude anyone could possibly have in her situation. i tried to put myself in her shoes and i couldnt. i dont know what i would be thinking? i'd probably be mad at the whole world.
but she is so happy. she is hopeful. she's my hero.



i am quickly writing this blog post for the mere reason that after this is published, i will have literally NOTHING to do besides study. (or sleep. both of which are beneficial to me in my current situation)
in the past few hours i have washed my face, used my neti pot, made my bed, organized my shoes, wrote in my journal, had a friend change my facebook password, ate, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, taken out the trash, organized things in my room, and after that i even moved every object on my desk onto my bed (see photo) so i would sit here and only focus on physical science and nothing else.

of course i kept my computer next to me so i could play my "study time" playlist that includes instrumentals and piano jams. i've reread five chapters in my physical science book in preparation for my final exam tomorrow.... and i'm about ready to start drawing on myself i am so bored. i hate science. it makes my brain hurt. i would rather write a 50 page paper about something interesting than read 50 pages (thats my current standing in the book) about tiny little particles and stupid laws that i dont know how to define and how specific forces work.

so this is my remedy. taking stupid pictures of my book and me. there are other funny ones but considering i have family who read this, those pictures will remain hidden. i can't believe i only have three more days left here. everyone is saying its so "bittersweet".... but in all honesty i am only seeing the sweet right now. i cant wait for the sun and my bed and my family. i miss so much about vegas. i've wanted to start packing so bad but i am forcing myself to wait until monday. i could have been done two weeks ago, i've been so excited to leave. but i keep telling myself that after i finish all of my finals, i can reward myself by throwing all of my possessions into boxes and hitting the road. PEACE OUT P-TOWN.



sum up my life

i've realized this week that anytime i am doing anything, it includes or revolves around one of the following:

1. physical science portfolio
every wednesday i have a physical science lab for two hours. we do six experiments each class. i had to type up every single experiment we've done this semester along with the procedure, results, questions and answers, AND come up with two experiments i could do in a class room that demonstrate the same objective for each experiment. all in a certain format. THEN i had to do a lot of research and come up with 45 completely different experiments that demonstrate the principles we have learned about this semester. type them all up. make them a certain format. arrange them by subject. make table of contents. make another table of contents. works cited page in correct mla format. it's been a real stressor. but today at approximately 2:50, i took it to the wilkinson center and got it bound. my work is done.

countless hours, hard work, and dedication. right here in these 150+ pages.

2. this hoodie
make fun of me all you want... i dont care! eddy gave me this hoodie before he left and i wear it constantly. it smells SO good. it makes me happy :)

why are guy hoodies so much more comfortable than girl hoodies? not cool. the day it stops smelling like eddy i will probably punch someone.

3. bieber fever
uh-oh.... it's hit me. i never thought this day would come. for some weird reason, i am in love with justin bieber right now. yeah, i know he's 14. and i still like to make fun of him. but i've had his songs stuck in my head for about 5 days straight. whether i'm listening to him while doing homework, at the gym, or humming in the shower... i love it! this is my favorite at the moment... i love this video haha. so nerdy. the best part is at 1:32 ish... oh jeeze.

4. life savers
i've probably bought 10 little rolls this week. i'm obsessed. they are so nice to suck on in class.... haha and they make me not hungry all the time. little dietary tip. not like they're good for you or anything. but i suppose its better than eating a real meal every hour.

ANYWAY. these are important aspects of my life right now.
last day of school is the 13th... then i'm taking my finals and packing up!
i can't wait to be home again :)
i miss the sun, my job, my mom, afton, swimming, friends, farm basket....
what could be better than vegas?