i don't know what's gotten into me lately.
since the second after i got married, i've had some really strong, reoccurring thoughts in my head.
they are as follows:
time for a baby.
that would suck to have a baby in school.
ew i hate babies.
i should drop out of school now.
i have the cutest husband.
why am i going to school now that i'm married?
what the crap am i going to make for dinner?
i should totally drop out of school.
why can't i just quit my job and cater to my sweet husband every day?
school is the biggest joke of my life.
i should get a bob. chop all my hair off. get the "mom look" started.
I NEED TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL!
... so about school... it's not really fun anymore.
totally over it.
i'm that d-bag who shows up late, in sweatpants, with a route-44 dr pepper in hand, sits in the back row of class not paying attention until the iclicker participation quiz pops up, sports an asian bun, and is distracted the whole time thinking about how my car is parked in a faculty parking lot because i didn't want to walk from the freaking marriot center.
i thought this semester was going to be great. first semester in the program- finally doing what i've spent 2 years in school preparing for. now i go to sleep at night haunted by things my teachers say like "teaching elementary school is the hardest profession of all", "you'll make about 20 cents per hour at this job", "you will leave the school crying every day of your first year", "your pay might be determined how well your students score in tests- even though it's not your fault they are unmotivated or stupid as crap" (i added that last part), and my favorite: "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!" uhh... i thought i was until you asked me like that...
i found these stupid pictures online. no idea who the guy is.
they are titled "lazy senior" haha.
they speak my every thought.
the last one is my favorite. i can come up with an excuse for anything haha.
i'm hoping that this is just a weird rebellious phase i'm going through...
i keep telling myself i need to step foot in a classroom again to remember why i chose el ed in the first place. i love it! i really do. and i knew it would be a hard, extremely challenging, time consuming occupation. but it's what i've wanted to do my whole life. i can communicate with 10 year olds better than i can with people my own age. so why am i just NOT motivated right now???
i'll keep you posted.