say what you need to say

to cancel out the ridiculous amount of happiness and warm fuzzies that have been taking over my blog recently, i thought i would post something a little more on the negative side :)
let's get back to reality. 
and reality is the fact that i have a few pet peeves driving me nuts right now.

i find it comical that they all involve other people talking.

but they are really getting to me. 

so the solutions i have thought of are as follows:

1. move to a deaf/dumb community

2. ear plugs
3. permanent ear plugs

4. never leave home

5. confess everything on my blog so i can vent it all out and move on 

... the last one seems the most beneficial.

so shut your mouth and let's get started :)
i cant stand the following:

1. when someone starts a conversation with "by the way, ..."

... excuse me? what? by what way? we weren't talking. 

"by the way" is a phrase used to indicate that the speaker is adding more information, or that the speaker is casually opening a new topic of discussion. i walked down the hall at school a few days ago and a random girl in passing approached me with "by the way, your dress is really cute." ew. don't get me wrong, i appreciated the compliment! but don't make it sound like we were mid-conversation or something. i don't even know you. 

2. when members of the LDS church say this exact phrase:

"I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT BYU"

oh, please! stop being dramatic.

you have your right to bash BYU's perfectly trimmed landscape, their exceptional athletic teams, the beautiful murals in the art museum, and the bell tower that chimes church hymns. but when you say "I hate everything about BYU," you're saying you hate EVERYTHING about BYU! and BYU's board of trustees is included in "everything." so let's see... who are the members of the board of trustees? well, Thomas S. Monson is the chairman, Henry B. Eyring is the first vice chairman, Dieter F. Uchtdorf is the second vice chairman, and other board members include (but are not limited to): Russell M. Nelson, M. Russell Ballard, David A. Bednar, and Julie B. Beck. so when you say "i hate everything about BYU," you're saying you hate the prophet and some of the greatest general authorities of the church. and if this is the case, you have a lot bigger problems than rooting for the wrong basketball team.

3. the word "actually" 

yes, that's right. one little 8-letter word. 

have you ever noticed that "actually" and "ashley" can both vary from 2-4 syllables depending on where you are from? or that they both start with an "ah" sound and end with a "lee" sound? and even the middle sounds, "ch" and "sh", are undeniably similar? or that they could reside in the same spot of a sentence? 

"actually, can you come help me?" ... "ashley, can you come help me?"

"i love churros, actually." ... "i love churros, ashley." 

see how complicated my life can be? here, i will even provide photographic proof! 

stupid.

i've been responding to "actually" for about 21 years now, and i am tired of the confusion. if we could eliminate this word from the english-speaking world, i would be extremely pleased. 

4. the misuse of literally.
this is annoying, but at the same time it cracks me up. i think there are a lot of people out there who aren't grasping the whole concept of "literally."  literally can be defined as "in a literal sense, as opposed to a non-literal or exaggerated sense." i mean, COME ON! you're killing me, people! my friend recently told me of a girl in church sharing an experience where she said, "I literally had to look inside myself to know what was true." really? how did you do that? a scalpel? x-ray? fascinating.
or how about "i am literally starving to death." interesting that you had enough strength to say those words considering you are on the verge of dying!

5. "nordstrom" vs. "nordstroms"
i saved the worst for last. this common mix-up heats my blood.

nordstrom, being my favorite shopping destination, is obviously very dear to my heart, and so i personally take offense when people misuse the name. i love going to nordstrom.  nordstrom's the best. nordstrom is a title, and it is singular.  if John W. Nordstrom wanted people to refer to his store as "Nordstroms" he would have named it "Nordstroms" and not "Nordstrom." So if you tell me, "I went to nordstroms today," I will either assume that an imitator has opened a new knock-off department store, or that you don't have enough respect for the store to pronounce its name correctly.  i mean, after you went to nordstroms did you go to costcos? and then to sonics for a drink?
... no. some things are just wrong. so wrong.

by the way, i am literally done with this vent session.
thanks for literally reading my biggest greatest pet peeves.