before and after

i have a confession.

i am OBSESSED with before and after pictures!

every day i scroll through my pinterest feed, waiting to be fascinated by a set of before and after pictures. i don't care if it's of a kitchen remodel, a makeover, the progression of a pregnant belly, a paint job, a family photo recreated, a haircut, a plant growing, a dramatic weight loss, an edited photo, or even an eyebrow wax... i am totally mesmerized. i seriously could stare at them all day long.

via

via

via

via

the madness is carrying into my personal life, so i find myself creating before and after pictures quite frequently. i guess you could call it a hobby. here are a few of my favorites. 

before and after a trip to the hair salon:

before and after 21 years:

(age has treated us well!) 

 before and after 15+ years: 

before and after my morning makeup routine: 

and last but not least, before and after my latest home makeover. after a tai pan trip with my aunt cathi, scotty and i realized we need some greenery in our apartment. we needed something to bring our place to life. we've been looking all over for fake or real plants, and i was SUPER excited when i found these little guys at ikea:

 definitely more homey and eye-appealing than the stupid candle, vase, and candy bowl we displayed previously. 

aren't before and after pictures fun?!?

5 things

i saw this cute post on bri's blog and i thought it was so fun! i love getting to know about other bloggers and their interests, quirks, etc. so all of you should do the same! 

5 Things...

...you'll find in my purse.

1. my moleskine planner. i feel incomplete without it!  

2. burts bees. 

3. quarters. i have a special stash saved for mall candy machines.

 

4. pills. you better believe i have about 8 different types of medicine in my purse right now! 

gotta be ready for anything :) 

5. orbit wintermint gum. one of life's necessities. 

...you'll find in my bedroom.

1. our heated blanket. it is the second love of my life right now. 

2. not a tv. this is a current debate in our home :) 

3. clothes on the floor. scotty and i aren't the cleanest people around... 

4. homework assignments and books. 

5. huge pictures of us from our reception. i love them, but scotty thinks they're a little too much haha.

...I've always wanted to do.

1. see a broadway play in new york (and do some serious shopping).

2. work at disneyland as princess belle. 

3. teach elementary school. only 6 more months until this becomes reality!

4. tour europe with my husband. 

5. meet oprah winfrey. 

...I'm currently loving

1. fresh flowers on my dining table.

2. justin bieber's believe acoustic album. 

(yes, i'm still listening to it everyday)

3. these pants from target. i have FOUR different colors! 

4. spending quality time with my cute husband. 
(lately it's waffle dates, board games, and movies) 

5. easter candy. it's the most wonderful time of the year! 

...quirks I have

1. i refuse to eat lunch or dinner at mcdonalds, but i love their breakfast mcmuffins.

2. i enjoy silence. sometimes i drive for 30 minutes before i realize the radio wasn't on. 

3. i lock every door. all the time. even if i'm walking 100 yards to the mailbox. 

4. i don't like ice in my water. 

5. i like writing in all lowercase letters. if e. e. cummings can get away with it, why can't i?

ashley's finger and the three bares

once upon a time, a princess named ashley lived in a magical land called utah. she was married to her handsome prince scott, and they were so happy together. just before they were wed, prince scott placed a ring upon the princess's finger to insure all the peasants and other princes knew she was his. the ring was beautiful, and it made the princess feel warm and giddy inside. but, like in most fairy tales, an evil power came about. it loosened one of princess ashley's diamonds, and she was forced to part with her precious emblem of commitment and love. she took it to her fairy godmother, kay, and pleaded with her to fix it. with a flick of fairy godmother's wrist, she sealed a ziploc bag and sent it off to corporate. princess ashley was devastated when she learned she wouldn't see her ring again for up to 10 business days. but alas, there was nothing to be done.

ashley's left hand felt empty and bare; her heart was broken at the sight of it. while the princess was leaving fairy godmother's cottage, the most wonderful idea came to her mind. "with the prince's hard-earned money, i shall buy a new temporary ring!" she took her carriage to the kingdom's market and entered forever 21, hoping to find something to fill the empty space on that left hand. after many wasted minutes, she left with the "most realistic" and wedding-ish like piece she could find:

as her royal feet stepped out of the store, she realized her purchase was a mistake. this cheap and oversized ring would make no substitute. the ring was too big, too ridiculous, and too fake. it was almost insulting to think that that $3 piece of plastic could represent her marriage. so for a second time, princess ashley found herself with a bare finger.

next, ashley traveled across the market to a place she hadn't been to for at least 10 years. claire's was sparkling and full of girls - surely she could find something presentable there. she spent the last $8 she had to purchase a ring smaller, prettier, and definitely more wedding-ring-esque.

she hurried home to greet her prince and tell him of her adventures. she figured her problem was solved, and now all she had to do was wait. a few days later, she awoke and glanced down at her hand. behind the fake ring, her finger was a bright filthy green. surely she could not go about the kingdom with a green finger! although it received many compliments, this second ring was of no use to her. it was too dirty, and making her finger too ugly. 

days went by. there was no sign of princess ashley's ring being done, and her chances of finding a replacement were destroyed. the princess waited. and waited. and waited. all the while, her finger was sad and lonely. finally, as a valentines day miracle, princess ashley received a call saying her ring was fixed! she rushed back to her fairy godmother and slipped the gems onto her finger... a perfect fit! just as beautiful as she remembered! her happiness was restored, and the kingdom celebrated in her honor by exchanging flowers, chocolates, and gifts of all kinds. 

the prince, the princess, and her ring all lived happily ever after. 

mean girls on my mind

i am in the primary presidency in my ward. i love it. i adore the children and i'm sure it's way more fun than sitting in a room full of old ladies :) today i taught a lesson about the creation. it was going really well, which wasn't surprising because i spent a week preparing. i felt like i really knew my stuff. my words were smooth and i was really confident. everything was going just as planned.

i was talking through each of the 6 days of creation, and when i got to the third day something really weird happened. totally unexpected. i said, "on the third day, God created..." but in place of grass, herbs, and trees, all i could think about were dinosaurs and homosexuals.  i didn't know what was happening. i paused and waited for my brain to sort things out. on the third day... uh... uhhh... and i had to look down at my notes. it later occurred to me that my favorite movie of all time, mean girls, had brought this embarrassing mixup upon me. 

HA! i couldn't even believe it. my obsession with mean girls has gotten to the point where i don't even realize i'm quoting it anymore... it's just part of me. it's a way of life. it's the reason i only wear my hair in a ponytail once a week, and the reason i wear pink on wednesdays. i'm a woman possessed. i spend about 80% of my time talking about mean girls, and the other 20% of the time i'm praying someone else will bring it up. 

let's hope my next primary lesson doesn't have any correlation with mean girls. 

ashley's how to:

here is my easy step-by-step guide to making a fool of yourself in an airport.
1. download hulu plus on your iPhone
2. insert headphones
3. start modern family episode "diamond in the rough"
4. fail to hold in your uncontrollable laughter

i couldn't stop myself.

i freaking love modern family! 

if you haven't watched this week's episode, 

go do yourself a favor.

you won't be sorry. 

... unless, that is, you're sitting in a silent airport with 80 people watching you. 

say what you need to say

to cancel out the ridiculous amount of happiness and warm fuzzies that have been taking over my blog recently, i thought i would post something a little more on the negative side :)
let's get back to reality. 
and reality is the fact that i have a few pet peeves driving me nuts right now.

i find it comical that they all involve other people talking.

but they are really getting to me. 

so the solutions i have thought of are as follows:

1. move to a deaf/dumb community

2. ear plugs
3. permanent ear plugs

4. never leave home

5. confess everything on my blog so i can vent it all out and move on 

... the last one seems the most beneficial.

so shut your mouth and let's get started :)
i cant stand the following:

1. when someone starts a conversation with "by the way, ..."

... excuse me? what? by what way? we weren't talking. 

"by the way" is a phrase used to indicate that the speaker is adding more information, or that the speaker is casually opening a new topic of discussion. i walked down the hall at school a few days ago and a random girl in passing approached me with "by the way, your dress is really cute." ew. don't get me wrong, i appreciated the compliment! but don't make it sound like we were mid-conversation or something. i don't even know you. 

2. when members of the LDS church say this exact phrase:

"I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT BYU"

oh, please! stop being dramatic.

you have your right to bash BYU's perfectly trimmed landscape, their exceptional athletic teams, the beautiful murals in the art museum, and the bell tower that chimes church hymns. but when you say "I hate everything about BYU," you're saying you hate EVERYTHING about BYU! and BYU's board of trustees is included in "everything." so let's see... who are the members of the board of trustees? well, Thomas S. Monson is the chairman, Henry B. Eyring is the first vice chairman, Dieter F. Uchtdorf is the second vice chairman, and other board members include (but are not limited to): Russell M. Nelson, M. Russell Ballard, David A. Bednar, and Julie B. Beck. so when you say "i hate everything about BYU," you're saying you hate the prophet and some of the greatest general authorities of the church. and if this is the case, you have a lot bigger problems than rooting for the wrong basketball team.

3. the word "actually" 

yes, that's right. one little 8-letter word. 

have you ever noticed that "actually" and "ashley" can both vary from 2-4 syllables depending on where you are from? or that they both start with an "ah" sound and end with a "lee" sound? and even the middle sounds, "ch" and "sh", are undeniably similar? or that they could reside in the same spot of a sentence? 

"actually, can you come help me?" ... "ashley, can you come help me?"

"i love churros, actually." ... "i love churros, ashley." 

see how complicated my life can be? here, i will even provide photographic proof! 

stupid.

i've been responding to "actually" for about 21 years now, and i am tired of the confusion. if we could eliminate this word from the english-speaking world, i would be extremely pleased. 

4. the misuse of literally.
this is annoying, but at the same time it cracks me up. i think there are a lot of people out there who aren't grasping the whole concept of "literally."  literally can be defined as "in a literal sense, as opposed to a non-literal or exaggerated sense." i mean, COME ON! you're killing me, people! my friend recently told me of a girl in church sharing an experience where she said, "I literally had to look inside myself to know what was true." really? how did you do that? a scalpel? x-ray? fascinating.
or how about "i am literally starving to death." interesting that you had enough strength to say those words considering you are on the verge of dying!

5. "nordstrom" vs. "nordstroms"
i saved the worst for last. this common mix-up heats my blood.

nordstrom, being my favorite shopping destination, is obviously very dear to my heart, and so i personally take offense when people misuse the name. i love going to nordstrom.  nordstrom's the best. nordstrom is a title, and it is singular.  if John W. Nordstrom wanted people to refer to his store as "Nordstroms" he would have named it "Nordstroms" and not "Nordstrom." So if you tell me, "I went to nordstroms today," I will either assume that an imitator has opened a new knock-off department store, or that you don't have enough respect for the store to pronounce its name correctly.  i mean, after you went to nordstroms did you go to costcos? and then to sonics for a drink?
... no. some things are just wrong. so wrong.

by the way, i am literally done with this vent session.
thanks for literally reading my biggest greatest pet peeves.

a day maker

i am so not a morning person.

seriously. scotty and i think it's hilarious that my initials are now A.M. ... because if i had my way, i would have absolutely nothing to do with the A.M.! in fact, my dad tried (several times, actually) to warn scotty about my grumpy morning facade he knew all too well from my seminary days. i'd say the follow picture shows a pretty accurate example.

with that being said, on saturday my sweet husband woke me up at 4:40 (yes- A.M.) to help him work for the community co-op (click here for more info). they distribute local produce and other goods all over utah. scotty and i ventured down to provo to promote and advertise the company at the provo farmer's market. combining early morning, work, provo, cold weather, and cramps is not really in the makings of my ideal saturday.

so i was being whiney, and being a bum, and complaining, and wanting to go home. i ventured off from the market to entertain myself. while doing so, an unexpected and quite urgent message came from my man: 

being the creep that i am, i quickly hopped in the car and drove back to scotty, and he held my shaking hand as we walked over to her. 

stephanie nielson had already impressed me from her blog, her book "heaven is here," her appearances on oprah, 20-20, and mormon messages (click here), her speech at byu last year, and not to mention her impeccable fashion sense... and yet, she is even more amazing in person! 

i was standing in front of her, and i kind of forgot how to form words. i rambled like an idiot while she so humbly and politely stood and listened. the best word scotty and i can use to describe her is "sweet." she didn't have to wrap me in a sweet hug when i stuck my hand out to greet her. she didn't have to make conversation with me and ask me where i'm from. nor did she have to gasp and question, "you commute from midvale to provo? every single day?" ... but she did. we only shared maybe 5 or 6 minutes with her, and we left feeling like she was our newest friend. we talked about politics, school, the cougars, and even hugging oprah (... and me hugging someone who has hugged oprah. i couldn't help it). she cared about us and took time out of her personal family outing at the farmers market to talk to a homeless-looking admirer. other memorable moments from our encounter: 

scotty: she is so excited to meet you. i think she's crying. 

stephanie: *laughs*

me wiping away a tear of joy: ... no seriously, i just have something in my eye. 

me: i'm sorry for intruding, this is probably so annoying! does this happen a lot? 

stephanie: haha uh... no, not really. 

(but you know it does!)

me: thank you! you are such a great example. everyone just loves you. 

stephanie: trust me, i feel the love! i wouldn't be here without it. 

she is an amazing woman. 

"running into" her changed my day and my perspective for the better. 

she inspires me as a future mother, a wife, a writer and blogger, a member of the church, a homemaker, and especially as an optimist. i mean, if she can overcome her plane crash and live such a happy, joyous life, why should i make a big deal about any of my stupid problems? she has taught me to find joy in the journey regardless of the bumps and hills along the way. 

... so maybe waking up at 4:40 AM wasn't so bad, after all.

dimpled & famous

one of my dreams in life is to be followed or retweeted by a celebrity. 

yes, it's really that important to me. 

i try to talk to them all the time and i never get a response.

oprah winfrey, justin bieber, miley cyrus, and sometimes even ann romney. 

none of them give me the time of day and it's really depressing. 

the most exciting thing on my newsfeed is being followed by a dimpled chin account: 

how they found me, i have no idea. 

but i guess my chin is pretty prominent in all of my pictures... 

at least someone appreciates me!

next up in excitement is a clipping from this week's BYU newspaper:

every week, they have a segment with byu-related tweets.
my memory problems are classified as "entertainment" now!

i guess it has to start out small with newspapers and random followers,
soon the time will come where my celebrities recognize me.

mini

my mom loves miniature things.

so naturally, i like them too.  

my coworkers think i'm crazy for squealing over this mini 6-pack of orbit gum. 

CUTE! 

and every time scotty and i are shoe shopping, i have to look at the little mini baby shoes. 

CUTE! 

and i really, really, really, want this little mini book of instagram prints. 

CUTE!

you get the point. 

so when i found this idea on pinterest for "mini pizza muffins" i about died. 

mini pepperonis. 

mini chocolate chips.

 bake at 425 for 10 mini minutes and viola: 

mini. pizza. muffins.

CUTE! 

i'm in love! 

animals

i've never been much of an animal person. 

we didn't have pets growing up.

i wasn't really even around pets growing up. 

my extreme fear of dogs up until age 12 didn't really help. 

sure, we had a pet turtle for a couple years. but once my family gave her away, my heart was broken and i decided i will never have room to love another animal. (click here for that sad saga) 

every time someone pins this on pinterest i laugh. 

... because, yeah. i don't like dogs. 

and people do question the existence of my heart and soul. 

i don't like horses, cats, birds. i HATE snakes and lizards and slimy things. 

i'm not one of those people who wants to go save abused or orphaned animals, i don't get emotional about animal deaths, and i yawn through animal movies. one time i told my mom that i would be fine if every other animal was wiped off the face of the earth except for cows and chickens. i love my burgers. and you can't have a cafe rio chicken salad without the chicken! 

with all of that being said, can i contradict myself and show you this picture? 

SERIOUSLY? how am i supposed to stay strong in my animal-boycott when i come across pictures like this on pinterest? my current hobby is googling "baby bulldog" and forcing scotty to look at every single picture with me. 

politics: as far as i know

as you may or may not have noticed, my blog topics are a compilation of all things important to me.  my blog is my personal escape to rave about new recipes, movies, celebrities, pieces of clothing, and other girly happenings.  it documents my personal life, newly-wed adventures, vacations, and milestones.  it is a place for me to record special pictures, sayings, or thoughts. i love my blog and i plan to continue blogging until my 90-year-old hands are creaking and showing off every vein.

so today i am trying to expand my blog topics and mention something that i don't particularly care for: politics.

i know, i know. i am a irresponsible citizen of this country, and the rest of you should be scared that this year's presidential election rests in the hands of other emotionless voters like me.

the whole thing just doesn't interest me.

sure, i have a few small opinions based off of things my husband hears on the news, things i hear on the ellen degeneres show, or little bits and pieces from talk shows that reach my ears before i quickly change the radio station.

however, i am slightly curious about this year's election.

after watching a bunch of youtube "documentaries," i think i have a pretty good idea of who i'll vote for.

CLICK HERE to see barack obama.

CLICK HERE to see herman cain.

with those two singing, jabbering fools out of the way, the answer is clear.

mitt for life. 

... in reality, what this post all boils down to is: 

i just wanted to share those two videos because they make scotty and me literally cry tears of laughter. also, i'm voting for mitt because i think he is the most suited candidate. 

... the hair & charming wife aren't hurting his cause, either. 

the panacea

i have this reoccuring problem in my life. 

i love sugar. 

i want sugar. 

everywhere i go, i see sugar and i buy the sugar and then continue to consume the sugar. 

the sweet tooth i inherited from my dear mother is getting out of hand. 

so i decided i am going to start a sugar-prevention program for myself. 

problem: everything that doesn't include sugar as a top-three ingredient is gross. 

right? 

WRONG. 

check out this awesome recipe i found on pinterest. 

*drumroll, please* 

BANANA "ICE CREAM"

if my subpar photography skills aren't eye-appealing enough to persuade you, click here for the original recipe link. 

basically, all you do is slice up 3 bananas. freeze em. 

look, we're halfway done! 

i pulled out the food processor that i didn't even know i had. 

(every day is like christmas when you're a newly wed) 

spent literally 25 minutes trying to set it up. 

i had never touched one in my life before. 

in frustration, i summoned the husband to work his magic, because the machine obviously hated me. 

he rotated the lid so it wasn't on backwards, and after a few tears i was good to go. 

after the lid is secured the right way, push "on." it takes about a minute and a half for the bananas to become a ice-cream-replica bowlful of heaven. as i took the lid to the food processor off, i heard the hallelujah chorus. 

the bananas alone in this consistency are an excellent snack. but since i am easing my way into this whole "eat vegetables and fruits instead of candy and chocolate" thing, i added a spoonful of peanut butter and 2 tsps of cocoa. 

still healthy!

mix.  

viola. 

i was feeling like a culinary genius, so i added some strawberry slices on top to achieve a full-on gourmet presentation.  

i am so glad that you follow my blog so that you too can enjoy this amazing creation. 

aren't you lucky? 

from this week forward, i vow to stop buying the long stick of banana-flavored laffy taffy as a daily mid-afternoon snack, and instead i will replace my sugary sweets with healthier things i find on pinterest. 

amen.