first year funnies

you know how people say your first year of marriage is the hardest? i agree, but i also think it's a lot more awesome than hard. it's full of changes, new discoveries, bliss, and a few tears. just because you're adjusting to this new way of life doesn't mean you can't have some freaking great times.

in fact, you need those freaking great times.

because those are what keep you going through the hard times. a year ago, i started compiling all of the ridiculous "hard things" scotty and i experienced during our first year of marriage with the intentions of posting them on our one-year anniversary. when the time came, some of these were still sore subjects... it was too soon to post. but hey, time heals all wounds and now i think they're all hilarious! today we have been married for a year and a half. so in celebration and for your comedic pleasure, here are some of mine and scotty's first year trials. enjoy.

-the first night we were married and settled into our apartment with stocked cabinets, scotty said, "so what are you going to make for dinner?" i didn't know. he asked, "how about we just make some rice and cook up two chicken breasts?" i then realized that i didn't know how to prepare rice. a basic skill that every 5 year old in china knows how to do. and i didn't. and i cried.

-on the second morning of our honeymoon, scotty woke up to the sound of me sobbing in bed. i was crying so hard. he didn't know if he did something wrong or if i was regretting our marriage or what. the poor guy had no idea what was going on! a few minutes later, i woke up from a dream of my mom dying... my pet turtle named mom.

-i fell for a freaking radio scam. i called in thinking i was paying $40 for a $300 gas card... but really i paid to learn not to trust anyone. and to talk to my financial advisor (scotty) before making any purchases.

-scotty didn't give me flowers (or anything at all) on our first valentines day. coworkers and friends, i lied to you to save myself the embarrassment. but i can assure you this will never happen again. we both learned very valuable lessons that night. 

-i was doing laundry one day and i went to the laundry room to pick up our dry clothes... someone had stolen our laundry basket. jerks.

-scotty was complaining about a stain on one of his older-than-old t-shirts, so i put my finger in one of the many holes and ripped the shirt in half.  i later found out that this was the first "class of '07" shirt he ever bought in high school and it was special to him.

-i went into the bathroom and found water on the ground.  "scotty! dry off after you take a shower!!!" i complained. "i haven't even taken a shower today!" ... "really...?" scotty came in and examined the floor.  we both agreed that it was, indeed, wet. we looked up. water was dripping from our ceiling. but wait, the story gets better! we called maintenance and within a few minutes the guy was in our apartment inspecting everything. a light bulb clicked in his head, and he went to talk to the people who live above us. long story short, the lazy people above us were using paper towels in place of toilet paper because they were all out. im sure your imagination can make the connection between my idiotic neighbors and my leaky ceiling.

-once, one of us thought it would be funny to switch the placement of our almost-identical toothbrushes. it was not. 

-scotty signed us up to feed the missionaries, didn't tell me, and wasn't home when they came. my conversation with them when they showed up at the door was pretty awkward. 

-i put one of scotty's nice wool sweaters in the dryer... it went from size xl to xxxxs in a matter of minutes.

-for days and days i nagged scotty about putting away the cords to the TV, because he always left them out in the middle of the living room in order for the antenna to get better reception. after a heated discussion, i threatened him one last time (like the mean wife that i am) and gave up. the next day, he tripped over the cords and broke a piece off of our TV that is irreplaceable.

-once i had loaded the dishwasher almost full- i thought i would wait to start it because surely i could stick just a few more things in there- and i left for work. i came home later that day and my sweet husband had seen the full dishwasher and unloaded it.

-one morning, we both woke up to sharp pains from me head-butting scotty in my sleep.

-a different morning, scotty filled a bowl with cereal and about 1/3 cup of milk. there wasn't enough in the jug so he just left the bowl there to get soggy and went to work. what a lovely surprise to come home to :)

-speaking of milk, one of the hardest difficulties to overcome in a marriage is buying the right milk. do i buy a whole gallon and have the last little bit go sour? or do i buy a 1/2 gallon and use it up too fast? all i need is a 3/4 jug! someone get on that.

look at us now. so much wiser, happier, and chubbier. the first year was great, but the second has been even better. we work so well together and we really understand each other. i'm so lucky to be married to my scotty!

the first year stats

i promise this is my last anniversary-related post. i just thought it would be fun to talk about the entire year we have spent together, rather than just our wedding day. i came up with some statistics of our accomplishments, habits, and milestones from our year of marriage.

in the past 12 months, we...

 lived in 1 apartment
used the iron 2 times

had 3 cars

worked 4 different jobs between the two of us

went to vegas 5 times

humbly received 6 parking tickets (... maybe that was just me)

gained exactly 7 sets of married friends

reached a total of 8 nieces and nephews (#8 is still in the works!)

taught a class full of 9-year-old children in church together

cried for 10 days after we lost our wedding gift/thank you card list

hear the clock chime 11 pm and can't keep our eyes open

 had 12 months of bliss

other great stats:
we left the country 1 time
we eat pizza for dinner at least 1 time a week
we have been to 2 other sealings
our top 2 favorite movies are "rio" & "what happens in vegas"
we have taken 3 pregnancy tests (just making sure)
we have gone through 3 different printers
the longest we've spent apart was 3 whole days
we have been inside 5 temples
we have gone to get frozen yogurt ONLY 5 TIMES!
we have been to 5 different states
we consumed a 25 lb bag of rice

celebrating

our actual anniversary is tomorrow.
but with leap year and what not, it's really been 365 days.
plus, tomorrow is sunday. day of rest.
so we began all of the anniversary festivities today!

sidenote: i decided the first anniversary is borderline awkward. it sets the tone for the rest of your anniversaries. if you get each other presents, it would be weird to not get each other presents the next year. right? so we explicitly stated that we will not buy each other anniversary gifts, but instead have a fun day spending quality time together.

and just because i can't buy scotty a gift doesn't mean i can't decorate a little...

i hung "12 favorite memories from 12 months of marriage" all over the apartment. they are still hanging from the ceiling... so our place is feeling a little jungle-ish. but they turned out really cute! it's amazing what a few pieces of card stock can turn into. and scotty was a good husband and bought me the most beautiful assortment of flowers! 

i should also mention that he cleaned the entire apartment while i was out this morning. what a guy! later in the afternoon, we went to the salt lake temple and did sealings. click here. not only was it a great act of service, it was so fun to reminisce and re-live our own sealing that took place a year ago. it was so special to give other people the same blessing that we were celebrating - eternal marriage! i think we might have to make sealings on our anniversary a tradition.

the sealings were scotty's idea, and benihana for dinner was my idea.

we both contribute in this relationship. 

(speaking of contributing, shout out to mom & john for giving us some anniversary loving! if you know what i mean... $$$) 

dinner was a blast. 

benihana is not just dinner, it's an experience. 

i think i ate more food tonight than i have all week: 

sushi, soup, salad, fried rice, shrimp, grilled zucchini & onion

... and that was all BEFORE the main entree came. 

thank heck for to-go boxes.

and to make the night even sweeter, in honor of our anniversary they spoiled us with free ice cream and this ballin picture: 

it was quite the successful night! 

scotty makes me the happiest girl in the world;

i am so blessed to be married to such a great guy. 

here's to one year down! 

it's a fish!

... is what my cute roommates would say.
somehow, shortening "it's official" to "it's a fish" is just way too much fun.

i know i'm a little late.
did you ever expect me to overcome my procrastination habits?
even as an adult/married woman?!
... yeah, me neither.
BUT, with that being said, i would like to announce something special:
as of last week, i am "officially" ashley marx.
anywhere and everywhere.
for time and all eternity!

so long, ashley barnes.
it was nice knowing ya.

"in the beginning"

IT'S OUR FOUR MONTH ANNIVERSARY!

i always think about our wedding and how perfect it was. but something i don't think about that often is how we got to that particular step in our relationship. so for the sake of my posterity and my self-diagnosis of memory loss, let us take a stroll down memory lane and document exactly how scotty and i came from being complete strangers to an engaged couple in just 4 short months.

scotty got home from his mission in Brazil about the first week of June 2010. we grew up on opposite sides of las vegas, but his parents conveniently moved into my neighborhood while he was gone.  the first week ron and kim moved into the canyon gate ward, ron stood up in priesthood and said something along the lines of "every time we move, one of our children finds a spouse. so i guess i'm here for my son to get married." ... funny. our parents grew to be acquaintances, which led to kim reading a funny blog post or two of mine via my mom's blog.

scotty comes home. his girlfriend who had been writing him the whole two years dumps him, to which kim responds to with "okay then i have someone you need to ask out! her name is ashley barnes. i read her blog." so scotty goes to singles ward and asks someone to point me out. he sees me across the chapel and thinks "... maybe."
MEANWHILE,
my dad tells me one beautiful summer morning "hey there's a fresh RM moving into the neighborhood! get on that." whatever. doesn't phase me. then the next week in church, this insanely good looking guy gets up to the pulpit and says "my name is scotty marx... i recently returned home from my mission. like... thursday." i was smitten. so cute. so handsome. funny. witty. strong testimony. hot body. challenge accepted. after constant facebook stalking, rehearsing how i would introduce myself to him, and going running in the neighborhood just to run past his house, i started to grow a little creep crush. kami was the only person i told because i knew it was irrational and ridiculous.

fast forward: it's ward temple night. he's in the font, baptizing people. i switch places with a few girls to ensure i get him. i walk into the font, excited to finally be close to him, and get in the proper baptism stance. he starts "sister barnes, by the- wait, are you ashley barnes?" heart stops. ridiculous responses start to flow. "you know my name...? haha yes..." "oh i'm scotty marx" "yeah we live in the same neighborhood!" mind you, all the witnesses, towel holders, and old man at the computer are all standing there awkwardly waiting for this inconveniently-timed conversation to end. i'm like "hey, why don't we just talk after" ... "yeah"
nice.
he proceeds to baptize me and -strike me down for saying this- the whole time i was so distracted by his arms and his cologne and that adorable face. suddenly we're finished and right before i walk up the steps to dry off, i turn to him and say the magical line that started it all:
"you're, like, REALLY strong..."
googley eyed and eyelashes batting.
something actually very similar to this

boom. i was hooked.
he laughed and that was that.

a week or so later, this little treasure plops in my facebook inbox:

HA! so embarrassing and so corny and so precious. 

i don't know if it was the absence of proper punctuation or the misspelling of "neighborhood" that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. but we texted away that entire night and next day until about 5:00 when he picked me up for our first date. 

to quote our wedding announcement, we "both agreed this one date was the absolute best date of [our] lives." we rode the new york, new york roller coaster. had a fancy dinner on the strip at texas de brazil. finished off the night with some romantic fountain-gazing at the bellagio. 

approximately 5 days later, i had myself an official boyfriend. 

and the rest, my friends, is history. 

every day it just gets better and better. 

i am so lucky. 

couldn't be happier!

well, i have quite the story to tell.

picture this: it's friday night. im home in vegas loving every second spent with my family. scotty and i had a date planned for 9:30. i thought he would come over sooner... but he didn't.

at exactly 9:30 i get a text message saying "your driver awaits you outside." i laugh and think nothing of it, and walk outside. however, where i expected to see my handsome boyfriend and his truck, i saw his best friend dressed up in a tux- complete with bow tie. he informed me that he would be my chauffeur for the night, and let me into the back seat.

once in the car, i was handed an envelope with my name on it. i learned that i had just begun a scavenger hunt, and i was to instruct my driver on where to go. my first clue led me to scotty's house. then we traveled to subway, yogurtland, the cleaners, and finally the bellagio fountains. all of the clues were really cute and rhymed and were printed on fun glossy paper.

(mind you... this whole time i'm asking a million questions in the car "where are we going?!" "what are we doing?" "is scotty paying you to do this?" "he's not proposing, is he...?" "are we going to a show?" "how are you, devon?" and all i get back is "i'm sorry, but the man who hired me asked me not to disclose any information." hahaha. devon played the part perfectly. every once in a while he'd say something like "we are now approaching the intersection of twain and jones, the time is precisely 10:05 and the temperature is around 65 degrees according to apple iphone.")

(ALSO, you should know that sometimes i'm completely mindless. this whole time my thought process was going like this: aww my boyfriend is so cute --> what are we doing? --> oh maybe we're going to a show downtown! --> oh my gosh, could he be proposing? --> HA! no. he hasn't even asked john for permission --> good, because i didn't get my nails done yet. --> hmm... phantom of the opera? --> is that even still playing on the strip? --> what are we doing?!)

anyway, i was literally dropped off on the curb of las vegas blvd in front of the bellagio fountains and my chauffeur drove away. luckily i found scotty :) the bellagio fountains hold a special place in our hearts... we went there on our first date! very sentimental. scotty was dressed up in his church attire, and that's when i first thought something was up (took long enough). i was thinking "if we're going somewhere where he has to dress like that, he would have told me to dress up too... so why is he dressed like that?" hahaha. but i was still in denial. john told me he would tell me when scotty asked him for permission... and i dont think scotty has enough money to buy a ring right now... hmmm...

BUT. then the fountains starting going. and an unknown romantic song started playing. and he started telling me how perfect i am, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. i then started shaking with anticipation. i remember my jaw dropping as he got down on one knee... and like a fairy-tale, he pulled a little black box out of his pocket and the ring of my dreams just happened to be inside.

it was perfect. no- BEYOND PERFECT. people started clapping and i was bawling and my heart felt like it was going to explode! i said yes without hesitation, and he put the ring on my finger and swung me around! we called a crap load of people, and then had a romantic celebration and engagement dinner at the one and only: taco bell.

i am so in love.

my ring is BEAUTIFUL! i can't stop looking at it. every morning i wake up and get so excited that it's still real and i am still engaged! ITS NOT JUST A DREAM!

scotty makes me so happy. i can't wait to wake up to his cute face every day for the rest of my life. we have so much fun together and i feel like i am the luckiest girl in the whole world! he is alllllll mine :) ... I CANT WAIT!

my mouth is in pain from smiling for 73 hours straight.

i am losing my voice from talking so much.

my body hurts from being hugged and ambushed and squeezed all the time.

and yet, i could not be happier.