dear haters.

Dear haters, judgers, and doubters,

Hello! I know we talk every day, but I just wanted to write you this quick letter to tell all of you (and believe me, there are plenty!) how I feel. I’d like to start off with a big thanks! I think it’s great that you care so much about me and my love life. I appreciate your concerns and advice. As most of you know, I am engaged. I could tell from the disgusted look you gave me when you saw my ring that you disapproved. It wasn’t hard to tell exactly what was going through your mind when you asked, “wait… how old are you?” or “aren’t you a little young?” Oh! I’m sorry… did I miss some sort of rule? Because as far as I’m concerned, the state of Nevada said I was eligible for marriage at age 16! Seeing as how I turned 20 last year, we can cross that problem off the list. But wait- you know someone who got married young and it turned out horrible? Yeah, I know couples like that too. However, I also know of couples that got married in their later years and ended up in a mess. And on the flip side, I know couples that were married right out of high school and are still going strong! So perhaps the outcome depends on variables other than age.

Listen, I know divorce rates are high. But does that mean that nobody in the country should get married because other marriages aren’t working out? Have a little faith. What ever happened to finding your true love and growing old together? Sitting on the porch swing watching your grandchildren? I’ve waited 19 years to feel this way about a guy, and I’ve finally got it! There is nobody in the world that I’d rather spend every day of my life with. He’s all I think about and it breaks my heart saying goodbye to him every night. I’m in love! Scotty is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so it just doesn’t register in my brain why you would want me to postpone marrying him. Waiting until November already seems like torture! Will it make a difference if I marry him in 6 months or in 2 years? If anything, we’d be ahead of the game if we got married sooner.

Wait… you just reminded me that I haven’t lived my life to the fullest. While a lot of my single girl friends may be out studying abroad, going on cruises, or other fun single activities, I’d trade all of those for Scotty. You’re saying I should go to a foreign country and have random adventures, and then it’s okay for me to get married? I say you should go to that foreign country and stay there.

Oh yeah, you tell me this one a lot too: marriage is hard. Well, duh. I can’t imagine being cut off from your parents, living with a member of the opposite sex for the first time, sharing a bathroom, joining a bank account, and being dirt poor is a picnic. I'm not taking this decision lightly, and I don't know why you think I would. I've thought long and hard about what getting married means. I want you to know that I'm not just a silly little girl getting married because I'm caught up in the excitement. I know there will be hard times when we can barely pay our apartment rent, when we want to punch each other in the face, when we have a filthy house and no food, and when I want to run back to my mom crying. Here’s the thing: if I could change one thing about Scotty… I wouldn’t. Back when I was 14, I started a list that has been added to for the past 6 years of what I want in a husband. Boyfriend after boyfriend, nobody matched up to the list until last year when I met my handsome husband-to-be. So if I’m going to be suffering through hard times, there is no one (NO ONE) I’d rather be with than my sweet fiancée who makes me laugh and brings me happiness. I would rather have a husband to help me through all these grown up problems than be on my own.

So whether you think I’m too young, too immature, too naïve, or too financially unstable, it doesn’t matter. We’re getting married. You can put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Yours truly,

The future Ashley Marx