making our marx: survivor: finals week

since i have lived on this earth for over 21 years, it's inevitable that i have had my fair share of finals weeks.
ohhh, finals.
for six months i am blessed with happiness, homework assignments, and free time.
and then come the five days of torture. a deadly repeating pattern that will FINALLY end in two years.
these ten days are my most dreaded above all other 355 we are given in each year.

i have hit all levels of finals week:
happy, depressed, content, enthusiastic, excited [okay... maybe not], motivated, unmotivated, heart broken, and especially disappointed.

below is a compilation of the finals week tips i narrowed down to be the very best.
i estimate a 96.8% success rate if all of these rules are followed.

but then again... i dropped out of my math class last semester.

enjoy!

1. dress
my freshman year at BYU, i had an ingenious idea.
seriously. i could sell it and make millions.
instead i freely give it away on my public blog.

after walking out of the testing center with a final exam grade of 27%, i knew something had to be done to ensure my self-esteem didn't burry itself in the hole it was already digging. i felt horrible. worthless. idiotic. and from that day forth, i have followed this strict guideline: on the day of a huge test, dress as cute as physically possible. hair curled, too much make up, and the newest or cutest outfit you own. i say this for two reasons.

one- you will feel SO MUCH more confident.
two- regardless of the test score, you'll know you still have something going for you.
(27%? who cares?! i'm the hottest thing here.)
here are my three new finals week purchases:

it's hard when your new haircut reminds you of a lesbian, but i managed.

2. eat
i know you've heard this a million times. whether you're preparing for elementary state tests, high school finals, giving blood, or the ACT, teachers always tell you to eat a well-balanced breakfast.

it can be as simple as toast drowning in your mothers homemade delicious strawberry jam and a glass of milk.
"yeah, whatever. i don't eat breakfast."
WRONG. you do during finals week!
because regardless of how not hungry you are before you sit down to take that test, halfway through it you know you'll be sitting there either distracted by how hungry you are or smothered with regret of not eating before you came to conquer this huge test. you'll rush yourself because you can't focus, and you'll fail.
trust me. eat food.

3. tricks
i can remember almost everything with a song or acronym.
"My Pony Prances Near Or Below Satan's House."
what is that, you ask?
"Monson, Packer, Perry, Nelson, Oaks, Ballard, Scott, Hales."
see what i did there?
genius. genius.
ideal for memorizing a list or groups.
seriously, you can't go wrong. the weirder it is, the easier it is to remember.

4. isolation
if you're serious about your tests, you need to ISOLATE YOURSELF!
from what?
EVERYTHING!
facebook, pinterest, texting, twitter, instagram, pinterest, blogging (woops), facebook again, and especially pinterest.
if you have enough self control to stay away, congrats. you're a champ.
anyone else, try something like this or have a friend change your passwords.

and lets not forget people. go somewhere that forces you to be quiet: library, library, or the library.
in my case, scotty gets the living room and i get the bedroom.
no communication.
no distractions or distracting.
you just can't!

5. rewards
does receiving an A give you enough motivation to pull your crap together and study? if you're like me, then the answer is no. it doesn't. so try something even better: candy. or wingers. or a nordstrom trip. set high goals for yourself and accept your deserving reward when they are accomplished.
example: write a paper, we will get wingers for dinner.
example: write one more page, then you can go on pinterest for a whole 15 minutes.
example: finish a reflection, then you can write a blog post about finals
example: take a quiz, snuggle with this guy-