once upon a time, a princess named ashley lived in a magical land called utah. she was married to her handsome prince scott, and they were so happy together. just before they were wed, prince scott placed a ring upon the princess's finger to insure all the peasants and other princes knew she was his. the ring was beautiful, and it made the princess feel warm and giddy inside. but, like in most fairy tales, an evil power came about. it loosened one of princess ashley's diamonds, and she was forced to part with her precious emblem of commitment and love. she took it to her fairy godmother, kay, and pleaded with her to fix it. with a flick of fairy godmother's wrist, she sealed a ziploc bag and sent it off to corporate. princess ashley was devastated when she learned she wouldn't see her ring again for up to 10 business days. but alas, there was nothing to be done.
ashley's left hand felt empty and bare; her heart was broken at the sight of it. while the princess was leaving fairy godmother's cottage, the most wonderful idea came to her mind. "with the prince's hard-earned money, i shall buy a new temporary ring!" she took her carriage to the kingdom's market and entered forever 21, hoping to find something to fill the empty space on that left hand. after many wasted minutes, she left with the "most realistic" and wedding-ish like piece she could find:
as her royal feet stepped out of the store, she realized her purchase was a mistake. this cheap and oversized ring would make no substitute. the ring was too big, too ridiculous, and too fake. it was almost insulting to think that that $3 piece of plastic could represent her marriage. so for a second time, princess ashley found herself with a bare finger.
next, ashley traveled across the market to a place she hadn't been to for at least 10 years. claire's was sparkling and full of girls - surely she could find something presentable there. she spent the last $8 she had to purchase a ring smaller, prettier, and definitely more wedding-ring-esque.
she hurried home to greet her prince and tell him of her adventures. she figured her problem was solved, and now all she had to do was wait. a few days later, she awoke and glanced down at her hand. behind the fake ring, her finger was a bright filthy green. surely she could not go about the kingdom with a green finger! although it received many compliments, this second ring was of no use to her. it was too dirty, and making her finger too ugly.
days went by. there was no sign of princess ashley's ring being done, and her chances of finding a replacement were destroyed. the princess waited. and waited. and waited. all the while, her finger was sad and lonely. finally, as a valentines day miracle, princess ashley received a call saying her ring was fixed! she rushed back to her fairy godmother and slipped the gems onto her finger... a perfect fit! just as beautiful as she remembered! her happiness was restored, and the kingdom celebrated in her honor by exchanging flowers, chocolates, and gifts of all kinds.
the prince, the princess, and her ring all lived happily ever after.