farewell, my friend.

a wise woman once said, "devote today to something so daring even you can't believe you're doing it." now, i don't know about "daring," but i'll be doing something later on today that i can't believe i'm doing- watching this woman's farewell show.
oh oprah, how do i begin to convey my feelings for you to my blog readers?
i'm not exactly sure when or where this obsession started... but the farthest i can trace it back to is early middle school. i remember coming home from school almost every day and watching the oprah winfrey show with my mom- it became our bonding hour. and in 8th grade english class, we had to write a professional letter to a company. i wrote one to harpo asking for tickets to the show for my teacher and myself. (although we never heard a response, i got an A). then freshman year, leah and i were absolutely thrilled to meet Stedman Graham when he came to speak at bonanza. i will never regret ditching class for him. i still smile when i think about the fact that i've hugged someone Oprah has hugged.

it was very exciting. even more exciting than the night leah called me and told me that her mom was staying at the same hotel as oprah in hawaii. oh what i would have given to fly there and stalk her down. then sophomore year came around, and i was assigned an 8 page biography on anyone i wanted. you guessed it: oprah winfrey. as if i didn't admire her enough before, writing the biography changed everything. i learned specific details about her humble beginnings and childhood that i had never heard. i learned about charities and scholarships and service projects that she put on without even announcing on the show. she gives so much more than we know. she truly is inspirational. i wrote all of this in my paper, and then emailed it to oprah. even after my multiple letters/emails to her, i never made it on the show. so this is the closest i've gotten to her:

a wax figure. i guess it will have to do. junior year reminds me of watching oprah with friends. one of my favorite episodes is oprah & gayle's road trip. the fab five and i had a party to watch the road trip episodes together! oprah and gayle are so funny, we were all laughing the whole time. and when we found out oprah and gayle had matching pink crystal pinky rings, leah and i bought ourselves some matching pink crystal pinky rings. leah is my gayle. year after year, we watched her favorite things episode and envied every person in the audience. senior year, oprah was a vital part of my daily routine. with most of my friends gone for college, who better to turn to than opie? (that's her childhood nickname, incase you were wondering). then i moved to college, and realized that my life was lacking without oprah due to my tv-less dorm room. i ripped out a picture from her magazine and thumb tacked it to the wall on my desk. the picture was of her at the very beginning of her career. i kept it there all year to remind me that i can do anything i set my mind to. it made me work harder. i know this is dumb and cliche and weird, but in a way i feel like i grew up with her. yes i know she is 37 years older than i am. but i remember her 50th birthday celebration, and she inspired my ideas for girls camp as youth camp director. i wrote poems about her in high school, and she introduced me to dr. oz. we laughed together, we cried together. she shared her "ah-ha moments" and i read the O magazine monthly. i was there when she found out she had a half-sister! she may not know it, but i say we have a pretty solid bond. some of our favorite things are josh groban, the color green, ipads, chicago pizza, chips, playing scrabble, and ugg boots.

i can't believe today marks the day of her last show. no doubt this will be a day i remember for the rest of my life. everyone remembers significant days like this. "where were you when the berlin wall fell?" "where were you when you heard the news about 9-11?" "...when princess diana died?" today can just be added to the list. sometimes i hope that an "OWN network 2" will come out and just be reruns and reruns of oprah shows. did you know she has recorded over 5,000 episodes? they should be compiling them into a multi-disc collection like they did for the 20th anniversary. and when they do, i'll be first in line to get it. but until then, i say farewell to oprah. it's been a great 20 years. don't laugh at me when i bawl my eyes out watching the final episode later on today.
love you long time.

more lovin:


third time's a charm.

the past 6 months and 2 weeks that i've been engaged have been quite busy to say the least.
every couple weeks or so my main priority changes.
for a while it was a dress.
photographer. (shout out to STEPHANIE PATTERSON!)
hoop skirt.
dj or no dj?

you get the point.
there are about a billion things left to plan and i keep jumping back and forth from cakes to colors not having any idea what to do.

last month's plan of attack was to find the perfect shoe.
once upon a time in march, i fell in love with this beauty.
gorgeous right? i have been obsessing over these glittery pumps since the second i laid eyes on them. however, slight problem. i had to use every ounce of self-control inside of me to refrain from buying these shoes. i try so hard to save my money... but somehow it all disappears. this summer i've made a goal to only buy things that i need so i can make better use of the money later for things like food, or rent. i figured these $100 could be spent somewhere else, and i would sacrifice for a more frugal shoe.

not to fear! my personal-shoe-expert/best-friend leah found these online for a steal! what do you know? the same thing for half the price. genius. the only thing missing was the enzo angiolini stamp of awesomeness, but i can live with out that. perfect, right?
wrong. apparently i have a horrible sense of guestimation in size/scale... if you get what i'm saying. show me a picture of a building and ask me how tall or wide it is and i have no freaking idea. ask me how many people are in a room- i dont know. i have issues with estimating things. so if you looked at this picture and thought "that heel is really high" you are one step ahead of me. the heel was insanely high. high enough to make me taller than scotty, which is not okay in my book.

so in my pseudo goldilocks and the three bears scenario, i move on to the third choice.
from target.
a whopping $27.
perfect height.
and juuuuuust right.
i have a feeling my glitter pumps and i will live happily ever after.



happy mothers day, all.
if you haven't met my beautiful mother.... your life is probably significantly suckier than mine.
remember this? and number two in this list? oh and how could we forget this one?
my mom is the best. if that's not enough evidence for you, fear not. i could keep going for days.
first of all, look at how cute she is
she's so pretty. i know, i know. it's hard to believe that she's my mother when she doesn't look a day over 25.

i love the weird crap we do together. we used to love going to the gym together. we love talking about going running together. we love ice cream/fro yo. we love costco trips. we love laying out together. we love watching oprah and ellen together. we do stupid things like the master cleanse and are each others support systems. she is my biggest supporter. she is always so good about pushing me to do school work, real work, and to not drop out of college.

she is the best advice giver. i tell her my problems and she can always fix them. i love that about her.

she is so cute. she is always talking to hummingbirds outside or our turtles. she has names for all of them and we like to make fun of her (but only because we love her)
we love how she gets a weird british accent when she's mad.
she's always been such a great example to me. she has such an amazing testimony and is so faithful. she has taught me how to serve others. my mom is the most selfless person i know. i have so many memories of her taking food to people, or dropping her plans for the day to go help someone in need.
so to my own personal and all-time favorite chauffeur, cook, alarm clock, nurturer, teacher, doctor, cheerleader, financial adviser, photographer, friend, and secret keeper: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!


my light at the end of the tunnel

i've decided over the past few months that the law and legal work is not my favorite.
don't get me wrong, i am really enjoying my new job. it's busy, i feel important, and i love the people i work with.
however, it can get really frustrating and overwhelming. every court in every county has a specific way of assembling papers- and they're all different. some things need to get filed electronically, some things get hand stamped. some packets need to be mailed certified, some need to be delivered in person. and all of these rules can change at any given time.
there's a lot to keep up with.
and since our firm deals mostly with debt collection, we do a lot of dirty work. we garnish a lot of people's bank accounts. mind you, they are the ones who put themselves in debt in the first place, but it still makes me uneasy. it breaks my heart when i'm receptioning and i get a call from a crying father asking how he is supposed to pay his rent, or from a mother telling me she won't be able to purchase food for her family this week because we've taken money out of her account. calls like these really get to me. its hard to keep my composure and sound professional when i'm answering "mam/sir, i can't do anything for you- let me transfer you to someone in our collection department."
so this morning i was running around like a chicken with its head cut off- going to court, delivering something, then back to the office, picking something else up and delivering it back to court. i was really stressed. i had lots of different packets to deliver all over the court house- one in particular needed to go in a box on the 16th floor. in the mornings the elevators are crazy busy. traveling from the 1st to the 16th floor without at least 5 or 6 stops is out of the question. so i speed walked to the elevators while dreading the thought of wasting my precious time taking an elevator up 15 floors and back down again just to put a stupid packet in a stupid box. the whole situation put me in a bad mood. i got inside the elevator, and in annoyance wondered how many times i would be stopping before i reached my destination. and then, at that very moment, something great happened.
on the 3rd floor the elevator made its first stop to pick people up, and when i saw who would be accompanying me my entire face lit up. it was a whole group of elementary school students on a field trip! i know this is ridiculous, but i was giddy. we immediately began conversing and they were so interested in every little detail. "why isn't there a 13th floor?" "what papers are in your bag?" "have you ever met a judge?" in return, i was equally curious about them. "you guys are on a field trip!?" "what grade are you in?" "what have you learned today?" sadly, they parted with me on the 11th floor. but somehow the 8-floor-long ride that i had with them completely turned my day around.
seeing those 15 (give or take) kids in that elevator totally motivated me. i was all pumped up and ready to deliver my stupid packet, because that's what i needed to do! i need my job so i can have money for tuition, and if i have money for tuition, that means i will most likely graduate. and that my friends, is exactly what i thought of when i saw those little field trippers.
i want to be a teacher so bad.
for as long as i can remember, i've wanted to teach in elementary school. i love teaching. i love being in front of a group and sharing with them. i love writing on whiteboards. i love the tiny desks. i love pencils and paper. i love helping people understand things. i know i'll regret saying this later, but i am secretly really excited to spend hours upon hours grading papers. i love grading papers. it honestly is a hobby. i used to beg friends to let me proofread their papers. i love lesson planning.
so even though i suck at law and i would make a horrible lawyer, this is what my job is for the time being. and in approximately 2.5 years, i'll be sitting in a room full of 8 year olds and loving every second of it.

i can't wait.