shout out.

oh gosh.

i know you're all just dying of suspense regarding my wedding post...

i promise it's coming.

in the meantime... i wanted to make sure that you know just how much i love my family.

ALL of my family.

and how amazing it was for all of them to be with me and scotty on our special day- regardless of flat tires, tight budgets, work schedules, sick children, evil teachers, school & exams, long boring drives, and sport games.

I was lucky enough to have all grandparents in attendance!

I sure love them.

grandma and grandpa westra make me laugh all the time, and gram b is the sweetest thing.

i adore my grandparents. i hope i can be as cute and funny as they are when i'm their ages.

THEN, get ready for this: every single one of my parent's siblings were able to come from all of their various locations. wyoming, chicago, utah, washington, california, texas, and all over!

it was the first time my dad and his five sisters have been together since like 1997 or something! they are all so fun. i adore each one of them! annette and barbara are so sweet and fun to be around, i see them the least because they are the farthest away! I miss them! cathi is the best person to play games (and make inappropriate jokes) with, debbie is freaking hilarious and always makes me crack up laughing every time i see her, and edie is my own personal support team and counselor. i love all five of them!

all 6 of my mom's siblings were there too! and don't worry, i love them just as much as the barnes sisters :) i love everything westra. i love all of my aunts and uncles. they all have the same laugh, the same nose issues, the same stupid jokes and hilarious stories, and i miss them when i am away from them!

all of the aunts were especially helpful. tying ribbons on picture frames, cutting and serving the cake, monitoring the cookies at the reception, and all kinds of jobs!

and most of the time, with aunts and uncles come COUSINS and COUSINS!

i love these little people more than anything

and i'm glad that my two dearest cousins came:

angela had some teacher drama that week and was docked 5% of her overall grade in a class for missing on my wedding day! STUPID! i'm so glad that she still came, it wouldn't have been the same without my "big sis!"

and kelsie crandall!! we're not exactly cousins... maybe second cousins. but i call her my cousin regardless. it's always a special treat when i get to spend time with kelsie, ever since my family moved to vegas we don't see her as often! i miss the days when we both lived in washington! she is so funny. we like to act stupid together, even though she looks like a rock star in this picture

christopher and mauri came too!! it was great seeing them. missed craig and the boys, but hopefully we will see them soon!

funny story: by some freak accident, my uncle dave and his wife rebekah ended up staying in the same hotel as us that weekend haha!! so we had continental breakfast with them. i know you're not supposed to communicate with the outside world for the whole week after you get married... but i secretly loved seeing them.

we really enjoy their company!

and last but SO not least,

my family family.

aka, the five of us.

dad mom ashley mitchell tanner.

let me just tell you that when i see this picture (whether it be on facebook, my phone, mom's blog, etc.) i just have to scan over it really fast or else i tear up a little. i can't believe i'm saying this but.... i love my brothers. i really do. i always have! but i do even more so now that i'm married. i just love seeing them and knowing about their lives and hearing them talk about middle school or high school. i can't wait to see what great things they accomplish as they get older!

and my parents.

oh no, this blog post is about to get 10 pages longer.

haha just kidding- because words cannot express the gratitude, admiration, and complete adoration i have for my parents.

they are the sole reason that my wedding day turned out as beautifully and perfectly as it did. they made everything happen! they helped me in every single decision, stood by me through my bridezilla phases, and agreed to almost all of my ridiculous requests. i can't tell you how many "wedding meetings" we had, how many late nights we spent debating things, or how many facetimes took place to pull all of this together. but what i can tell you is that my parents are absolutely amazing, and i will forever be thankful for the help and support that they gave me. it was so fun to plan a wedding with them- my dad was more enthusiastic than my mom and i combined! :) it was just the three of us, always searching for new ideas and brainstorming and surfing pinterest for hours. i appreciate my mom and dad so much... i really can't imagine life without them. so let's just hope my mom doesn't get sick of me calling her every night for recipes or kitchen advice :)

s0 to my beautiful parents, my handsome brothers, my adorable cousins, and all of my wonderful extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) who were able to come to the wedding:

THANK YOU

&

I LOVE YOU

i am the luckiest girl alive.

anxious ashley's corner

remember when i first started my blog and i called it "ashley's corner" hahaha?

i'm still ashley

this is still my corner

and i'm sure you can tell by now- i'm REAL anxious

anxious as in: impatient, eager, longing, yearning, and excited

(clarification felt necessary because people keep asking me if i'm nervous. uh... definitely not!)

i've waited 366 days for this!

i've been counting down waaay too long haha.

what, you don't believe me?

check it

Online gif maker

and now, for the first time ever, i can say

i'm getting married this week!

happy anniversary!

guess WHAT!

remember the beautiful, perfect, sparkly thing i have on my left hand?

the three stone?

white gold?

perfect in every way?

well, today is mine & my sweet RING's anniversary!

that's right- we've been together a whole year as of today.

remember this magical day? i saw her in a little black box and fell in love.

and she's just as sparkly as the day we met.

(special thanks to casey at fred meyer jewelers in university mall)

scotty and i celebrated that special day in each other's arms, smiling and giddy for hours and hours and hours and hours and HOURS. (and in my case, MONTHS) (like 12 MONTHS)

so for the first anniversary of me and my ring, scotty and i celebrated the best we could.

and when i say "the best we could"... this is what i mean:

i know.

facetime just isn't cutting it these days.

i mean, it was a fabulous celebration. don't get me wrong.

but uhh... i miss him.

i love my fiancee. can you believe i've had a fiancee for a whole year?

i'll just let you know that a fiancee is my most favorite thing i've ever had

the sad thing is, i'm losing him.

in just 6 short days, i will no longer have a fiancee.

i know.

it hurt my heart a little too

until i remembered that in 6 short days this handsome, stunning, hilarious, sweet, generous, spiritual, tender, perfect-in-every-way man will be my

HUSBAND!!!

the font can't go big enough to express my excitement.

i love to see the temple

i went inside on saturday

it was one of the most beautiful days of my life.

i love the LDS church and every single thing that we do and stand for.

sometimes i just want to climb on top of a mountain and scream

HEY EVERYONE COME TO CHURCH WITH ME ON SUNDAY!!!!

so that they can all feel this way too.

i'm thankful for my mom and dad, and ron and kim, and what great examples they are to me and scotty. i'm so glad the six of us got to share this special day together.
we seriously have the best families. i love them. i love how scotty is a part of the barnes family and how i am a part of the marx family. we have twice the fun! seriously, this weekend was perfect. i love the temple and i can't wait to go back. i love the church. i don't talk about my feelings for the church enough. but it is the greatest thing of my life. the church is the reason why i am such a happy fool all the time. i'm grateful that it gives me the opportunity to live with my cute family for all eternity, and i'm grateful for the doctrines and principles that i use to shape my life. i'd be a crazy mess without them. i love that it answers my deepest questions, like where i came from and why i am here. i love the word of wisdom, i love my new temple garments, and i love the importance of the family. and i can't help but mention how much i adore President Thomas S. Monson. He truly is a man of God. I had the privilege of being in the same room as him today, and i felt as if my heart was on fire.

i have so much to be thankful for.

i am glad i belong to a church that allows me to be sealed to this cute thing for time and all eternity

10 days, people. 10 days.

ode to mom

i know you know how much i love my birth mother.

but what i know you don't know is my love for my mom.

meet mom:

best $9 i ever spent.

she came into my life september of my senior year.

i've spent the past years watching her, talking to her, laughing at her, and walking into the kitchen making jokes like "WOW, mom is getting huge!!" or "we have the cutest mom ever!" ... you get it.

i fed her. i bathed her. i even scrubbed her shell with a nice turtle lotion.

i introduced her to goldfish... and was there for her when she swallowed her first one whole.

i've watched her grow from a tiny little creep the size of a quarter, to a full grown woman turtle. she was the best pet i ever had.

scotty and i had planned on keeping her for the rest of our lives. he complained a little, but i know he loved her. look at the tenderness he shows her!

how could anyone not love her?

right?

right?

wrong.

apparently some people don't love her.

last night my parents (i mostly blame the birth mother) disposed of her in a nearby pond.

i'm glad mitchell was there to conduct the farewell with love. anyone else in the family would have just plopped her in there and left. he gave her the send off she deserved.

it breaks my heart that i wasn't there.

i didn't even get to say goodbye.

my mom convinced me that "she looked so happy" and it was a better place for her.

however, i'm convinced the empty windowsill in the kitchen will forever make me miss her.

goodbye mom,

i love you.

my life: deaf girl edition

i think having two ear infections gets a bad rep.

i mean, SURE, i guess it would be nice to have my full hearing abilities again. i would love to know exactly when the toilet is done flushing, or hear the signal that lets me know i can cross the street. i wish i didn't have to feel bad for the people who i unknowingly ignored after they knocked on my door or rang my doorbell. and i can't believe i'm saying this... but i almost miss the crickets at night and the birds chirping in the morning. i remember the good old days when i could hear my phone ringing from the other room; yesterday i watched with a confused face as i saw someone was calling me, yet heard no ringtone at all. and you know those grooves on the other side of the lane on the freeway? they don't phase me. it's a total mind-trip to drive on them and feel the car vibrating but not hear anything at all. i would recommend it! the experience was quite thrilling. and let us not leave out one of my most traumatizing ear-infection moments: i went to class on wednesday, and watched in awe as sister woodger's mouth moved, yet i heard absolutely nothing. as far as i'm concerned, the whole room was dead silent. never in my life has school felt so useless. i think i have asked "what?" and "what did you say?" more times this week than i have spoken everything else combined. and then multiplied by 4. i feel like a mental case! it really is bizarre to go from perfect hearing to almost nothing. i wasn't expecting these problems for another 40 years! "what?" "wait- one more time." "sorry, can you say that again?" "HUH?!" the sad thing is, that even if they repeat themselves louder, 80% of the time i still can't hear. i don't know what kinds of things i have committed myself to this past week because all i've been doing is smiling and nodding. sometimes i throw in a laugh to keep myself looking lively.

all of these aside, ear infections are fun! i really have enjoyed the break from eavesdropping on crazy byu students who talk about the most ridiculous subjects. it's been nice to be in my own little world of silence. usually in my math class i have these 3 kids who sit behind me and talk the whole class period and it's so frustrating... this week was just wonderful! i could focus the entire time! all i could hear was the teacher because she had a mic. i'd have to say that my favorite is having absolutely NO sense of volume or tone, whatsoever. i honestly can't tell if i'm yelling, or using "inside voice," or whispering. they all sound about the same to me. usually i'm yelling because i cant hear my own self, so how could others hear me?? i tried to sing in my religion class- HA! it was a joke! first of all, my voice is already altered and man-like due to my coughing for the past 3 weeks... i'm sure my vocal cords are temporarily damaged. and then, there's the whole "i-cant-hear-me-sing-but-you-can-hear-me-sing" thing i have going on. so i start to sing and then i dont hear myself singing so i sing louder. talk about entertaining. and everything just sounds different! i dont know what to do with myself. i'm also nervous that my hand or mouth might get stuck in this position-

so i guess all i'm trying to say here is... pray for me.

love sick

today marks exactly two weeks that i've been sick.

it seriously sucks.

i am already overwhelmed with a full schedule of school and homework and work and wedding planning... i dont have time to be sick.

i cough every 5 seconds and im sure i drive everyone in class crazy.

i have had a fever, sore throat, runny nose, disgusting cough, all mixed with some head aches, body aches, ear pains, days of fatigue, and all sorts of fun things.

i've been miserable.

i went to the doctor after 9 days of torture, expecting him to say i was dying or i had bronchitis or something serious.

no.

he's like "it's just a typical cough... you should get over it soon" and sent me out the door with generic cough syrup i could have bought at 7-11.

i was mad.

i felt like he wasn't taking me seriously because everyone at byu is sick right now, but i can tell my situation is different.

it's worse because i'm love sick

i need this boy in my life! every day i wake up and look at the countdown app on my phone, hoping that the universe somehow skipped 20 or 25 days. but no... we're still at 32. whenever we facetime or talk on the phone, i feel good. i feel happy. but the second we hang up i'm sick and disgusting and sad again. he is so cute and so sweet! he sent me a sick package with soup and nyquil. it was the highlight of my week haha. my roommates are darling and have been taking good care of me... they bought me medicine and saltines and are always asking me how i am. i love them. but there's some kind of love and warmth in scotty's hugs that no one else can offer!

then he came to visit me and i couldn't stop smiling all weekend. i'm in love! above are our post-tucanos faces... not sure if stuffing my face was the best idea considering my conditions.

and then yesterday he left me for vegas again.

i woke up this morning feeling even worse.

(which was weird, because i didn't think it was humanly possible to feel any worse)

after an embarrassing presentation of everything i ate this morning appearing on my office's floor, my manager made me go to the health center again. i've been four times in the month of october. impressive, considering it's the 10th.

anyway, i met with an angel named mary anne.

she knew exactly what she was doing.

she diagnosed me with pneumonia and two ear infections, gave me real prescription drugs, and sent me on my way. see?

that's pneumonia.

and these are my new best friends:

cheers.