emotionally torn

this post represents a mental battle going on inside of me. 

the problem is, i thought i loved one thing... but then something new came into my life. 

 vs. 

if you're from vegas, you know exactly how big of a deal buffalo wild wings is. it's like the cool spot to hang out. hungry? let's go to bdubs. mutual activity fell through? bdubs. everyone loves it. some of my most special memories take place there. 

it's fun, delicious, and has so much sentimental value to me. one of mine and scotty's first dates was a dinner at buffalo wild wings. i consider it to be one of my happy places.

so naturally, when i heard one was opening in lehi, i could not shut up about it. i told everyone! friends, family, coworkers, customers at work, teachers, and even random people in classes. i was so excited. we went the first week it opened, and my craving was fulfilled. i was so happy.

THEN, to my astonishment one of my coworkers said "i went to buffalo wild wings over the weekend... it was okay, but not as good as wingers." ew. how dare she?! bww is the greatest thing that's been built in utah county! so it became an office debate. for literally WEEKS she has been harassing me (in a nice way) to go to wingers and compare the wings. i figured she was just a utard and didn't know any better. she begged, bribed, and eventually paid me to go to wingers. haha!

i walked in with a bad attitude. i already had my mind made up of which one was better before we even parked the car. i sat down in the outdated, ugly, clashing-colored, weird-smelling restaurant, and rolled my eyes when they brought out popcorn as the complimentary appetizer. i hate popcorn. 

however... my eyes stopped rolling when these beauties were plopped down in front of me! i took my first bite and felt my bww pride slowly disintegrating. i'm thinking, maybe wingers isn't so bad. yeah, these wings are okaaayyy. i take a second bite.  actually they are really good. okay, these wings are great! i think they are better than bww's but i dont want to admit it outloud! and then scotty said to me... "um these might be better than b-dubs..."

faces in pure shock and disbelief

we devoured every single bit of those wings and cheese fries.
(just not the celery. we don't do vegetables)

my conclusion to this culinary controversy is not simple. 

i had to analyze everything. 

while you wait: wingers brings out popcorn. gag. i would rather have the nothing that bww provides. 

cheese fries: wingers is better. bww is too potato-y.

sauce: wasn't super impressed with the "amazing original" at wingers, but the teriaki was great... still, not as great as "asian zing" at bww. however, i anticipate trying other sauces at wingers now that my heart has been opened. 

wing size: WINGERS! they are at least 3x bigger than bww! i was so pleasantly surprised. 

wing texture: wingers. sometimes i get a wing at bww that is way too crunchy. and sometimes there is just not enough meat in the little baby wing.  

environment: definitely bww. bww is geared toward a younger, new, and hip demographic. wingers felt old and outdated. bww is definitely a more fun experience. 

dippings: although they are very similar, i think bww has a thicker ranch/bleu cheese combo. creamier. both are tasty. 

price: WINGERS! we paid $14.99 for the same amount of food that we pay $30 for at bww. we could go to wingers twice for the price of one visit to bww. 

location: there are a crap load of wingers in utah. when i mapped it on my phone, we had 4 different options relatively close to us to choose from. whereas there is ONE bww in LEHI (of all places!) 

overall: it's hard to let go of an old, loved friend. i still love bww, but wingers is clearly the more practical choice. and the wings do not disappoint! i think i have to say that we will be returning to wingers before we return to bww.  thank you, annette!!!

dream life

being married gives you a whole new outlook on life.
you start to care about things you didn't know you cared about.
you feel unwanted pressures of maturity and responsibility.
you connect to things you never fully understood.

for example:  it really IS hard to live without parents and to fund all of the essential amenities of life! 

we are blessed with random allotments of money through grants, birthdays, extra wedding money, christmas, etc. but it feels like moments after i deposit them into the bank, we find somewhere they need to go. POOF. just like that, gone.

we think about being rich a lot.
yeah, yeah, whatever. call me shallow. you know you think about it too.
i just dream of a day when we're not spending 110% of what we're making.
... we literally have nothing else we can cut down on in our budget.
we don't even have cable anymore.
i wouldn't exactly choose financial instability if i had a choice.
scotty and i are both trying to be better savers.
we sucked pre-married life.
but we both have big dreams for our future.

so in order to be fully prepared, i have compiled a list of all the things i will do when i am an old, wealthy woman.

1. i will start a very strict scholarship fund that only supports (100%) caucasian, middle-class females who don't play any sports or instruments, and have GPAs between a 3.0 and 3.5.

2. i will buy my sweet parents something big like a house, car, computers, etc. to return a small contribution of what they have done for me

3. i will install dyson airblades in every bathroom of our estate, simply because they make me giggle upon using.

4. i will spend endless amounts of money on new dresses to look professional standing next to my hot business man husband. and isn't it so inconvenient that the modest ones are always way more expensive? it won't phase me.  

5. i will tip a waitress/waiter more than she or he deserves because i know it will make their night. i won't feel guilty not leaving enough because of not having enough to spare. 

6. i will march right into OC Tanner and pay for this $90,000 opal ring like it's just any other purchase.

7. i will get all of mine and scotty's clothes dry cleaned so i will stop ruining/shrinking/damaging them.

8. i will stop crying every time i get a parking citation because, come on, $30? that's pocket change.

9. i will donate immense amounts of money to BYU, and in return i will expect floor seating at all basketball games and at devotionals of my choice. 

10. i will give my adorable husband plane tickets to brazil for his birthday instead of a sweater and a card, and we will have carefree, relaxing, quality time spent together rather than seeing him every other morning because of conflicting work/school schedules. 

i imagine we'll be able to adjust quite smoothly. 

senioritis struck too soon

i don't know what's gotten into me lately. 

since the second after i got married, i've had some really strong, reoccurring thoughts in my head. 

they are as follows: 

time for a baby. 

that would suck to have a baby in school. 

ew i hate babies.

i should drop out of school now. 

i have the cutest husband.

why am i going to school now that i'm married? 

what the crap am i going to make for dinner? 

i should totally drop out of school.

why can't i just quit my job and cater to my sweet husband every day?

school is the biggest joke of my life. 

i should get a bob. chop all my hair off. get the "mom look" started.

I NEED TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL!

... so about school... it's not really fun anymore. 

totally over it.

i'm that d-bag who shows up late, in sweatpants, with a route-44 dr pepper in hand, sits in the back row of class not paying attention until the iclicker participation quiz pops up, sports an asian bun, and is distracted the whole time thinking about how my car is parked in a faculty parking lot because i didn't want to walk from the freaking marriot center. 

i thought this semester was going to be great. first semester in the program- finally doing what i've spent 2 years in school preparing for. now i go to sleep at night haunted by things my teachers say like "teaching elementary school is the hardest profession of all", "you'll make about 20 cents per hour at this job", "you will leave the school crying every day of your first year", "your pay might be determined how well your students score in tests- even though it's not your fault they are unmotivated or stupid as crap" (i added that last part), and my favorite: "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!" uhh... i thought i was until you asked me like that... 

i found these stupid pictures online. no idea who the guy is. 

they are titled "lazy senior" haha. 

they speak my every thought. 

the last one is my favorite. i can come up with an excuse for anything haha. 

i'm hoping that this is just a weird rebellious phase i'm going through... 

i keep telling myself i need to step foot in a classroom again to remember why i chose el ed in the first place. i love it! i really do. and i knew it would be a hard, extremely challenging, time consuming occupation. but it's what i've wanted to do my whole life. i can communicate with 10 year olds better than i can with people my own age. so why am i just NOT motivated right now???

i'll keep you posted. 

3

well friends, it's official. scotty jacob marx and i have been married for THREE WHOLE MONTHS! and might i say, they have been the best three months of my life.  i am the luckiest! scotty and i are so happy. every morning i wake up and am so grateful for this cute husband of mine and all he does for me. 

to celebrate this milestone in our fresh married life, we had a wonderful day spending quality time together. our friends jen and tony came over for a lunch and H&M date, which did not disappoint. we had fun helping them pick out their engagement picture outfits (can't wait to see how they turn out!) and even splurged on an italian soda at nordstrom. 

tony and jen went home, and since scotty didn't have to work tonight we had the whole night to ourselves! a blank canvas to fill! now, you should know that i'm not a big movie-goer. in fact, i would even go as far as to say that i don't really like going to movies. i willingly see a movie maybe just a few times a year- only if it's something i'm really into. i don't just go see one "for fun" haha. BUT, i have been looking forward to seeing the vow ever since i saw the trailer for it! it looked SO cute and SO good. i have been antsy waiting for it to come to theaters! 

scotty and i had originally planned to see it next week for v-day, but tonight i decided i just couldn't take the suspense any longer. i wanted the heart-throbbing, butterfly-giving, tear-jerking movie that i have been looking forward to for oh so long! i went into the movie already deciding that i loved it. and with rachel mcadams & channing tatum involved, i knew nothing could go wrong.

i was WRONG! everything was SO WRONG! wrong wrong wrong!!! i feel like i have been lied to! the trailer depicts an adorable love story with passion, dedication, and hope of a loving husband. the movie was a bunch of fights and awkward story lines and disappointment mixed together with my favorite actress. 

i am so sad. i had such high hopes for this movie! and honestly... at one point i sat there and thought to myself "i am so bored right now. how much longer is this thing?" ... seriously. a months worth of anticipation all for her husband to make ONE ATTEMPT of getting her back and taking her on a date, and then practically give up. so stupid! i'm glad that we got prepaid movie tickets for christmas because i would have been pissed to pay for our own tickets haha. scotty and i could film 2 random hours of our day and it would be a better love story.

i wanted something to make me laugh, cry, warm my heart, and all of those other ridiculous emotional feelings a girl going to a chick flick wants to feel. i sat there with a blank face, chuckled 2 times, and didn't shed one single tear.

if you want more specific details, read my friend's blog here.  she pretty much spoke my mind word for word. however, this date was not a complete waste of my life! it made me appreciate scotty for being willing to see a girly movie with me, and being a good sport the whole entire time. also, on the way home we discussed what we would do if the other person got in a car crash and lost his/her memory. we both would fight every day and not give up like SOME people in SOME retarded movies. 

wait until it comes out on redbox... or just don't see it at all. seriously. 

you won't be missing out on anything. 

out of the mouth of babes

scotty and i teach the valiant a class in primary.

it is pretty much the highlight of my week!

they are so fun. sometimes i sit there with tears streaming down my face because i am laughing so hard. and since i am such a generous person, i thought i would share some of their hilariousness with you.

lesson 4: the tree of life

so lehi had this dream. In his dream, this is what he saw:

does anyone know what it is? 3 kids at once: IT'S A WATER SLIDE!!! no... it's the iron rod. the iron rod led up to the tree of life. the tree had the most delicious fruit anyone could ever imagine! what's the best thing you've ever eaten? shell noodles with a creamy, white, cheesy mac and cheese sauce. oh man. well, this fruit was ten times better than that! uh that's seriously not possible.

so lehi is at the tree -scotty draws lehi by the tree- he's probably wearing some robes and a turban. you know what a turban is? oh like what the sultan wears on aladdin! don't forget the diamond and the little feather coming out of the top!!!

next to the tree there's a building. the scriptures say the people in the building were wearing "exceedingly fine clothing" ... what do you think that means? what do you picture them wearing? oh probably just some skinny jeans and a nice tee...

the iron rod represents the word of god. god?? isn't that dog spelled backwards?!?!? uh yeah... but it's also god spelled forward.

in the meantime, i'm sitting next to a kid who is borrowing my old scriptures. sister marx, why is there so much pink in here? it's my favorite color! i used it to highlight every time the scriptures mentioned jesus. oh. i would have highlighted in black.

the fruit represents eternal life. eternal life means that we get to live with heavenly father and jesus for all eternity. so basically we're gonna turn into zombies?

out of nowhere in the middle of the lesson hey sister marx, how did you get that hole in your chin???

then, after traveling in the wilderness for such a long time they finally reached a beautiful place. they called it bountiful because it was so pretty and it had all kinds of fruits and plants. oh yeah, i've been to bountiful.
then heavenly father told nephi that he had to build a boat. can you imagine building a boat? none of you have ever built a boat before, right? well i made a pinewood derby one time. haha yeah, not quite the same thing. but it won first place!

let's draw pictures of what kind of tools you think nephi would make to build this boat. wow katelyn, your picture is so good! you are such a great drawer! well sometimes, but there are some things that i can't draw. like an elephant sitting down is really hard.
(prayer at the end of class) we're thankful for coming to class today, i say these things in the name of jesus christ amen. WHAT?! i'm not thankful for coming to class today!!!!

even though they're not always excited about coming to class, we are. we love them!

S.W.F.

an acronym i just made up for our new favorite game.

SCRAMBLE with FRIENDS.

so much better than its cousin (the strategy-demanding, brain-hurting, boring, 35-day-long game) "words with friends"

if you dont have it- download it.

if you dont have a smart phone to download it onto- buy one.

if you don't have money to buy a smartphone- figure it out.

if you can't figure it out- rob a freaking bank or something.

okay it's not that great. but it is really fun.

we've had it for a whopping 2 days and we're hooked. i close my eyes and see a scramble board.

and i'm not trying to say that scotty and i are addicted... but we may or may not have spent the last hour and a half playing each other on our 6 different games we have going at the same time.

quality marital bonding, right there.

p.s.... speaking of marital... YAAAY!!!

calling all wives!!!

i have a question.

actually, a few questions.

so... i have this box in my room.

it's really big.

and it's holding this:

my beautiful beautiful beautiful wedding dress!

i mean, look how lovely it is

this is the look i was going for haha...

nailed it.

anyway, getting to the point.

part of me is like oh my gosh- i could sell it and buy groceries for the next 6 months! it's just taking up space that we don't have. it's not like i'll wear it again. hopefully my daughter won't be as fat as i was, so it's not like i could save it for her. it will probably be super outdated by then anyway.
and then the other part is like but it's my WEDDING DRESS!!!!! it's so special! i love at and it is exactly what i wanted. maybe my daughter will want to look at it. i could make something out of it. it's pretty.

see the problem?

what are your thoughts?

did you save your wedding dress?

if you did, are you glad you did? have you touched it in the last however many years?

if you didn't, do you regret selling it? does it even phase you that it's gone?

HELP!